Blah
I’m a little down today, mostly because I’m feeling incredibly ill of the nauseous and dizzy variety (for no reason that I can discern), and only partly because I keep getting bad news tossed at me. The bad news is nothing unexpected, which is probably why it’s not that upsetting, but it isn’t really improving this whole nauseous, dizzy downness.
The first piece of bad news is that my current babysitter, the one I rely on to provide me with childcare on Tuesday and Wednesdays nights, is moving away at the end of July. I knew this was coming as she told me up front that she was moving away for graduate school at the end of the summer, but I hoped she might not be leaving until the end of August and really, I hoped that if I just didn’t think about it, she might not move away at all. She has sometimes been questionably reliable, but more often than not she’s given me the much coveted breaks I so desperately need and I feel anxious about what the future holds in that respect.
A friend of mine is contemplating moving here (from the state to which my babysitter is moving so it would be a perfect trade) and is interested in living with me rent free in exchange for evening child care as needed. This would be such an awesome and excellent arrangement but I’m trying not to get my hopes up since I’ve gone through this process with this particular friend two times in the past year and she still has yet to come. I wish she’d just stop bringing up the possibility because I cling to it so desperately every time she does and am then so frustrated and disappointed when it doesn’t happen, but who knows, maybe the third time’s a charm.
The other thing that’s bringing me down is that I just got news from my boss that they aren’t going to let me quit and be immediately rehired so that I can get out of this stupid benefit plan for which I signed up. Not realizing that my boys would still qualify for state benefits once I started this job (because I didn’t know that my childcare costs would be deducted from my income), I joined my workplace’s dependent benefit plan (and pay $650 a month for the privilege). Unfortunately, now that I’ve learned that my boys still qualify for free (and far superior) benefits through the state, I can’t cancel the plan until open enrollment, which doesn’t happen until December.
So until December, I have to keep paying $650 a month for benefits that my boys are not going to use. After carefully reading the IRS guidelines to see if there was any way I might get out this stupidity, I came up with the idea that I could quit my job and then be rehired for it. Of course, I didn’t think it was very likely that my employer would agree to this and indeed, as I learned this morning, I was right.
So now I have to decide whether I should stay in a job that I find incredibly unfulfilling and pay $8k for the privilege, or whether I should quit and take my chances temping, surely making more money but also taking a chance that I might not only not be able to find a job, but that if I do find a job it will require hours and/or a commute that might cause trouble with my daycare provider. Obviously I’d work things out for the right job, but I just don’t know how well she’d take to my schedule changing every few months until I found that right job.
I’m sure there are good and/or positive things to think about, but right now I’m just not in the mood to go digging for them.