Pinking Up
I’m feeling a little better today. I met with my therapist yesterday and he let me cry at him for about an hour and a half and helped me put things into perspective and then helped me come up with some good ideas as to how I can get some breaks. Ways always reveal themselves when I spend some time thinking and I am never as without resources as I feel. And as my therapist suggested, building even more resources into my life is a pretty critical venture at this point.
I worry that part of my emotiveness is due to the IUD I had inserted on Monday (Woohoo! Free sex for everyone!). It wasn’t supposed to affect me, the hormones were supposed to be barely more than topical, but still I worry. Hopefully if I am feeling extra progesteroney it’s just an initial, getting-used-to-it kind of deal, and all will level out. And there’s also a strong likelihood that I am nothing more than just really, really tired, because that is certainly also the case. Regardless, I am feeling better today, partly because I got a decent night of sleep last night, but particularly because I remembered that I have childcare all day on Monday. While it was tempting to consider taking the opportunity to really clean my apartment, I instead scheduled a breakfast date, a mid-day massage, an early afternoon lunch (by myself), and then a stint of sitting in the grass at a nearby park, shoes off, ipod on, book* in hand. I’m also going to make sure that my apartment is relatively tidy and that something is planned for dinner so that when I pick up my boys we can spend the evening happy and relaxed.
I managed to do a half-assed cleaning of my apartment last night, which also made me feel better, and I think I might spend this weekend doing some decluttering. Assorted closets and cupboards are getting a little unwieldy (and are weighing increasingly heavily on me) so it seems like time to get them organized. If you’re really lucky I just might post before and after photos as well. Please try to hold yourself back from obsessively checking back to my site for the first glimpse of said photos, although I know it will be difficult.
My ex leaves tomorrow (at least as far as I know) and we have nothing in place, nothing at all. I suggested a custody schedule that will allow him the increased time he wants with our four year old in combination with time with our one year old that will give me a week long break from children every so often (A week! By myself!) and while I have let my brain run away with fantasies of how I would spend said week, I’m guessing that it’s entirely too gloriously luxurious to actually happen. But I will continue to dream.
*I’m currently reading Woman: An Intimate Geography by Natalie Angier and it is absolutely fascinating. The author examines women’s biology in great, great detail and debunks many myths and presents many interesting theories about why we are the way we are. Highly recommended (and especially for you, Kristina).
August 31st, 2007 at 2:30 pm
LOL!
I always feel so famous when you mention me even if it’s in some obscure fashion… so to see my name in *lights*!! WOO!!!
I was just reading your birth story yesterday and remembering the intensity of everything… it seems so long ago and so much has happened since then.
As you were describing that book my eyes were getting bigger and hungrier so I think you know me well; it’s right up my alley, I’ll see if KRL has it.
August 31st, 2007 at 5:28 pm
I highly trust anyone named “Natalie”. I must check this book out immediately.