24: Pain, Dreams and Drugs
This toothache went from, “Hmm, I seem to have a toothache, that’s no good,” to, “Oh god, please let all my teeth just fall out so that I never have to feel this way again.” By this morning I was looking around for tools that would allow me to do the job myself.
At the moment I feel mildly better because I have dosed myself on every medication I have in the house. I’m not sure what good simethicone drops left over from my one year old’s infancy will do, but my desperation is leaving me open to any and all possibilities.
Although I was up most of the night rocking back and forth and moaning in pain, I did manage to drift off a couple of times. The first time I dreamed that I got tired of my boys’ dad’s endless stream of nasty comments so I lept onto him, threw him to the ground and started screaming at him and strangling him while bashing his skull against the ground. My only thought was how this wouldn’t reflect well on me in court.
The second dream I had was about that boy I was dating a while back. I dreamed that I ran into him on the bus and for some reason he kissed me but his beard was full of ketchup so he got ketchup all over my face. I recall thinking that once you got past the ketchup, it was actually a nice kiss.
Now I’m going to spend my day trying to avoid moving my body, particularly my head, and see how long my boys will allow me to go without actually speaking to them. Hopefully I can work turkey soup making into that somewhere.