Sticks and Stars

I’m feeling kind of blue today, just a little blue, maybe light blue, maybe skim milk blue.

My weekend was okay. I got (almost) everything moved and most stuff unpacked, but my new place is so grimy (the cleaning folks hired by the owner canceled at the last minute so he decided not to bother) that I hesitate to put things away, particularly kitcheny things since that’s the room that’s grimiest. I should just clean it (the kitchen, that is), but it would be a big undertaking and an even bigger undertaking since the kitchen is filled with boxes and random stacks of loose items. It feels like all I can do to just unpack, much less clean the whole damned place.

I also hurt my back on Saturday, which really did not facilitate the moving/unpacking process. It still hurts today but it’s getting better.

One thing I need to remember for future moves, especially considering the general high tech nature of my household, is to check the outlets to make sure that a) there are some, and b) they have been updated to the grounded type so that I can actually plug in more than a lamp. My new place is lacking both, which leaves me facing an almost certain fire hazard if I wrangle together enough three prong converters and extension cords to meet my outlet needs. And truly, my outlet needs are not that vast. I just need a power strip somewhere, just one.

The guy I mentioned in my last post did come over on Saturday and stayed all day and well into the evening helping me get things done. He didn’t stay over but he did stay…long enough.

I’m still not sure that he likes me though. He tells me that he does and certainly Saturday provided enough contact that I think we were both pretty relaxed and comfortable, but still I have this feeling that something’s not right. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like…I don’ t know…I irritate him? He’s just tolerating me because he has to? Again, that he’s just performing to get to the end of the date? I don’t know. It seems so weird in the face of him repeatedly telling me that he likes me and getting naked with me and all, but I still keep getting that feeling.

We were both busy yesterday so we didn’t have a chance to talk for more than a few minutes, but the next time we talk I’m going to bring it up. Assuming that he’s going to continue to proclaim his attachment to me, I’d like to at least hear what he has to say in the face of my feelings about things.

As to how I feel about him, I’m still not sure about that either. He’s a nice guy but not my usual type…although that right there is probably a good indicator that I should give him a chance since my usual type often turn out to be amazing assholes. I was talking to a friend yesterday and told her that I don’t want him to be my boyfriend but when I said it I realized that I don’t really want anyone to be my boy/girlfriend. I kind of just want to have a nice assortment of friends and a nice assortment of people I sleep with and maybe some overlap and that’s all.

But it could be my mood. I feel too lacking of energy to think of anything so encumbering as a serious romantic involvement.

This entry was posted on Monday, December 17th, 2007 at 3:35 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.