Holiday and Post Holiday Recap
It feels like it’s been a long time since I posted, particularly since I haven’t even been semi-posting (where I write most of a post and then never get around to finish it but later can’t recall whether I posted it or not). My big excuse is the recently passed holidays, as well as my move, as well as the fact that my boys’ dad was in town and visiting even and that had me so roiled up that I couldn’t even talk about it. And that’s saying a lot considering that usually talking about it is the first thing I want to do in response to roil.
But he’s gone now (or at least I think he is — he’s not responding to my text messages asking whether he’s going to come and see the boys again) and without getting into the intensity of my wide ranging emotions surrounding the matter of his visit, I will say that I felt simultaneously giddy with the hope that maybe he will actually develop a relationship with both of his sons and that they will then possibly be able to spend some reasonable length of time visiting him and get to have their father in their lives, and intensely bitter at his getting to stop by and play Daddy Claus without having to take any responsibility for his children and the fact that he probably prefers it that way because he gets all of the pity (with regards to the horrible evil bitch who’s keeping his children from him — me) without any of the work and so he’s probably not terribly motivated to change any of this.
But whatever. I am happy that he’s gone and I’d greatly prefer to return him to his usual level of importance in my thoughts, which is none at all, so let’s change the subject.
Today begins week three of my effort to make a pot of soup each week in the hopes of having something for lunch that doesn’t also involve spending $7-$10 every day. Week one I made cassoulet and it was horrible, week two I made lentil soup with sausage and spinach and it was very yummy, and today I’m making black eyed pea gumbo. I’m trying to be forward thinking about cooking in general, planning meals that usually result in leftovers that can then be frozen, and doing extra prep work for each meal that will hopefully result in quicker prep time for future meals (like sauteing two onions instead of one and then freezing the extra). The real challenge is planning meals that my one year old will eat since he is taking a minimalist approach to food and has limited himself to just pasta, certain fruits, and chocolate. But I can do pasta, in all of its varied forms and sauce combinations.
This weekend I’ve been trying to tackle my mess of a house. At the same time, I have almost zero energy and am feeling entirely overwhelmed, so I’m trying to go easy on myself. Yesterday I committed to just one room, my boys’ room, with the intent of getting all the Christmas toys out of the living room and somehow contained in their small space. The solution was new shelves, the adjustable kind with the rails that are mounted on the wall. I feel pretty proud of myself for getting them up (and level!) all by myself and with no temper tantrums. I freely admit that I am not, nor do I have any interest in being, handy.
Beyond soup making, my plan for today includes doing dishes and laundry (although now that I have my own washer and dryer, laundry is more a joy than an actual task — I’m sure that will fade) and tackling another room, maybe my bedroom since that’s where the remaining three or four unpacked boxes lived, the ones that are actually partially unpacked (and mostly strewn about) since I’ve had to rifle through them every time I need to find envelopes or parchment paper or an extension cord. I’m feeling pretty good at the moment, so maybe I can add the bathroom to today’s list as well, since that’s a small room that really doesn’t need much work.
I have three resolutions for the new year that I’m kind of excited about, ones that resulted from me asking myself the question, “What would make me happy in 2008?” Even more exciting is that I’ve been thinking long and hard about achieving them and what steps I need to take and I have lots of good ideas. But I actually did write most of a post on that subject already, so I’ll wait to say more until that post is posted.
I hope you all had a happy bunch of holidays (whichever ones you celebrate) or a happy day off (if you celebrate none). Mine was very nice, complete with more gifts than expected, a big family dinner at a nearby Indian restaurant that included all of my boys’ immediate family (except their dad), and even snow (first white Christmas ever). I used to think that Christmas would always suck while I was unpartnered, but this one was very nice.