Nothing Much
I’ve been feeling pretty blue for the past couple weeks…bluer since that stupid housekeeping fiasco even though it truly is stupid and shouldn’t matter…but it still does. A friend says she’s tired of watching me cycle up and down and that I should look into medication (okay, perhaps she didn’t exactly put it like that) but although I am noticing that my ups and downs do tend to be cyclical, I’m pretty sure that everyone cycles up and down and my own cycles are no more extreme than those that everyone else experiences. I think I just might bitch about it more.
The blueness is the reason why those of you to whom I owe emails have not received them. On the best of days I am a terrible email slacker and would greatly prefer that you psychically intuit my well meant responses, but when I’m feeling down and without energy that whole business is magnified exponentially.
Today is a very sunny and hot day and I hoped that maybe my low mood was a result of clouds but I’m still feeling low. I did, however, take the self-preserving step of getting my house clean before ballet this morning (despite the class starting at 9:45am, I had already been up for hours). I realized that that’s an excellent time to get shit done and indeed, despite the fact that I still feel low, my house is clean and that makes me feel better.
Work continues to go well. I met with my boss last week about how to handle the backlog of work piling up behind the guy they hired to replace me in my old position and during the conversation he casually mentioned that he thinks I’m brilliant. That certainly made me preen just a little. I think that “brilliant” might be excessive, but I do think I’m good at my job. And of course, the fact that I love it doesn’t hurt.
I wish I didn’t find my children’s voices to be so insanely grating when I’m feeling blue. Their normal voices are fine, but when they whine or scream or when, say, my five year old calls me a stupid jackass I look quite longingly at the roll of duct tape sitting on my counter. The effort to get my two year old to sleep in his own bed is stalled pretty much exactly where I thought it would stall. It takes me about two hours to get him to fall asleep in his bunk bed and he sleeps there until about 3am when he crawls back in bed with me, and then he gets me up for good at somewhere between 5am and 6am. I have, however, starting making my morning workout non-negotiable. That means he stands there and cries (screams) during at least three quarters of it, but I figure that he’ll eventually understand that too bad, I’m going to do it anyway, so he might as well find a more useful way to spend his time.
Now it’s time to embark on a Chocolate Chip Cookie Parade, something my five year old has been excited about for the whole week. If you are unaware, a Chocolate Chip Cookie Parade consists of a) making chocolate chip cookies, b) carrying them around the house while singing, and c) eating them. This event was conceived of entirely by my five year old; I am merely assisting with the implementation. Perhaps there are better ways to spend a hot sunny day than hunched over a hot oven, but if there are cookies involved then it’s pretty much all worthwhile.
Oh, and one more thing. McDonalds’ new espresso drinks? Not good at all (as I fully expected, but I had a free coupon and needed some coffee this morning). Just to warn you if you should find yourself tempted.