Ambitions…Realistic or Not
I shouldn’t be blogging at the moment because I have a ton of work to do, but today at our team meeting our boss, the director of our department, announced that he’s planning to leave at the end of the year. This is big news, he’s been with our agency for quite a long time, and it’s largely been his vision that has brought Information Services at our agency from pretty much nothing to the very cool set up we have today, almost exclusively using open source software and recycled computers, tracking massive amounts of data in our database software that we built ourselves. I work for a large social service agency (about 350 employees) and we have a pretty amazing tech setup. It feels a little scary that the person who put this all in place is leaving.
However, more immediate to my own selfish little frame of mind is the fact that he’s leaving so soon! I fully admit to having designs on his job. It would have been a logical and reasonable next step for the person in my position. But I think that the possibility of my being able to take over his job in a mere six months is a little lofty, even for me. It did work out for me in the past, my loftiness. I mean, the person in the job I have now gave his notice when I had been in my first IS job for only a couple weeks, yet I still managed to get his job. But that was a stretch, and getting my boss’ job would be a stretch, and I think stretch plus stretch equals …I don’t know, too much stretching.
When we got back from the meeting one of my coworkers exclaimed disappointment that the announcement came so soon because she thought I should take his job, and that made me feel a little encouraged. When I agreed (about the disappointment and my own interest in the job) she became even more enthusiastic, telling me that I should apply anyway. I don’t know if I will. As I sit here I keep thinking that I could sit down and talk to my boss about it, ask him what I could learn in the next six months that would make me more qualified, and then take the chance, but I’m not sure. Too much stretching or whatever.
People who love me (or even who just like me, like my coworker) are going to encourage me to apply, knowing how something like this would make me happy, knowing how something like this would be such a coup for me. And really, I suppose there’s no reason not to apply…except that they might well laugh me back to my cubicle…or at the very least laugh in secret to each other about my overblown estimation of myself. I remember when I applied for my current job and how sometimes I would feel like there was maybe a good change they’d hire me because of my extensive knowledge of our very unique and complicated data and how other times I’d feel like my knowledge paled in comparison to my lack of programming knowledge and that there was no chance in hell they’d hire me. That’s how I feel right now, except way, way, way more on the lack side.
I’m a climber, I can’t help it. I’m ambitious and I am always planning for the next step. I doubt I was in my current job for a day before I started thinking about where I’d go next and how that might work out. I really kind of expected that my boss would leave in a couple years and I’d step into his position. Or, after, say, four years in my current position, I’d move on to get a private sector techie job and see what it’s like to make a lot of money for once (and, considering how very saturated this area is with well qualified techie folks, I’d likely consider moving away too, so that my qualifications might not seem so bottom of the techie barrel). But I preferred the first option, staying where I am, gaining in responsibility, doing work for an organization that’s doing work I think is important.
For now it’s all neither here nor there, I suppose. I think I will talk to my boss though…although I’m not sure what I’ll say.
July 5th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Good luck! I realize it’s soon, but if they gave you the shot I am positive that you’d rise to the occasion.