Slacking
I’ve been feeling so dissatisfied with blogging lately! I feel like I barely blog at all and when I do blog I write these long rambling posts about nothing that anyone could possibly find interesting other than me. It used to be that when I felt discontent with blogging it meant that a breakthrough was right around the corner, that shortly I would feel better than ever about my writing — although the last several times I’ve felt discontent I haven’t had that corresponding breakthrough. I am well overdue.
I’ve been sick this week and I thought I was feeling better yesterday as my terrible sore throat finally started to recede, but then today I woke up feeling worse than ever, drowning under mountains of snot and congestion and coughing up my lungs every few minutes. I’ve been feeling bad as I watch all my carefully laid weekend plans o’ accomplishment slip away. but finally I gave in, baked a pan of turtle brownies, headed to the local movie store and then picked up dinner on the way home. I’ve been sitting on the couch and watching movies ever since and oh my god, it is the nicest thing! I never do this, I never give myself permission to be mindlessly entertained. I spend all my time doing things or feeling bad for not doing things and time for myself is only justified when overlapping some other more “useful” tasks. I watch movies while I workout in the mornings. I read on the bus or while I’m trying to nurse my two year old down to sleep. But I never take time for full, unadulterated slacking time for myself. It’s the nicest thing.
October 12th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
You’ve gotta do that once in a while, your brain needs time to rest beyond just sleeping (and I bet you feel guilty for not being productive while sleeping; if someone invented a machine that allowed you to do that I bet you’d buy it!)