School Woes
I’m feeling really torn about my five year old’s school. It’s not thrilling me, to say the least.
I originally chose the school because it seemed as close as I could come to my homeschooling ideals while still being able to work and support my family. The most important parts were the focus on experiential learning and social justice, and the self-proclaimed status of “modified free school,” which meant that kids got to direct their own learning. This last one is particularly important to me as I feel that’s a key piece of making sure that kids love to learn all their lives and don’t think of learning as being wrapped up in some scruffy cardboard box labeled school.
But it turns out that this school is not a free school, modified or otherwise. It used to be, but the principal (who became principal about five years ago) has been doing away with it over the years until it’s finally gone now. In a recent meeting he held with a group of parents he even mocked the concept, saying that it wasn’t acceptable for kids to choose not to learn math, etc., and then he followed that with a comment about unschooling (of which I am a big fan) that clearly implied that he felt “unschooling” meant “uneducating.” These comments were particularly concerning to me because they were so absolutely unenlightened, especially coming from the leader of a school with a very long tradition of providing exactly that kind of education. Letting kids direct their learning doesn’t mean that they don’t learn math, it just means that teachers work to incorporate math into whatever it is that the kids are interested in learning about. It just means that sitting down with a math book and worksheets is fucking boring and will rarely show anyone the beautiful clever trickiness of numbers, while teaching a kid who wants to sew a costume about measuring and estimating and fractions and whatever else is going to cement those lessons in ways that worksheets and tests never will.
So fine, right? I can’t have my free school within the school district but I can unhappily live with that because at least I have experiential learning, right? And as I said, I don’t want my boys to think of learning as happening only in school, so it’s really important that they get outside the school walls as often as possible.
But maybe I don’t have so much experiential learning after all. It’s been a long tradition at this school that Fridays are reserved for field trips or for other experiential-type events. However, during the aforementioned meeting with parents, this principal commented that reserving Fridays for such things was like “taking twenty percent right off the top.” The way he said it implied that what was being “taken” was the opportunity to actually learn (like with math books and stuff) instead of wasting time on all those useless trips to nature preserves and performances and science centers and whatnot, and once again I had to wonder how exactly it is that he views learning. To my way of thinking, those trips and experiences are a way to contextualize whatever is happening inside the classroom or to at least expose kids to things that will never be part of their classrooms. They certainly aren’t just fluff that must be endured at the expense of “real” learning.
The principal advocates ending the tradition of experiential learning Fridays. Of course, he was quick to add, experiential learning would still happen, we just wouldn’t have to give up all of Friday. What that means, exactly, I don’t know. Maybe we just give up every other Friday? Maybe just three out of four Fridays every month? Maybe we get to have an experiential day once a quarter? Twice a year? Once a year? Obviously I’m exaggerating, but it definitely feels like the principal is taking this school in a direction that does not mesh well with what I want for my boys.
Of course, though, it’s what happens in the classroom that really matters, right? So how do I feel about what’s happening in my son’s classroom? Well, I don’t know how I feel since I don’t actually have any idea what happens in my son’s classroom. His teacher is terrible about communicating with parents (or at least parents who don’t show up in her classroom every day) so I miss out on all manner of things. Mostly recently the k-2 grades had a talent show, where my son apparently sang. Sadly, despite the fact that they’d been practicing for weeks, I didn’t know about it until he came home and told me that night. I’m pretty sad about missing that.
It’s currently parent-teacher conference time and I’m planning to ask his teacher lots of questions, not only about how my son is doing, but about how she’s handling how he’s doing. She already told me that he’s “quite academically advanced” and I want to know how she’s supporting that. One of my big reasons for seeking out the kind of education I’ve been describing in this post is because I really, really don’t want my boys to be bored in school and I know from a great deal of experience that boredom comes from being ahead of one’s classmates, yet expected to do their same work. How is she keeping him from being bored?
At this point I feel terribly, terribly torn about my level of commitment to this school. Right now the community is still dealing with the possibility of our building being closed (we find out if we are on the list on the 25th) and so I’ve been doing a lot of work to fight for the program, not to mention all the work I’m doing on their website. It’s a weird division to be, on the one hand, fighting for this program, but on the other hand not knowing whether I want my son enrolled.
The further problem is that there really aren’t many other options. The other alternative programs in my city (that are within reasonable driving distance) are very, very full (and really aren’t terribly “alternative” when compared to (at least the current iteration of) my son’s school) and the traditional schools in my neighborhood aren’t exactly sought after. Private school, while a nice idea, is really outside the budget and I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t fit in with private school families terribly well anyway (and I think that’s important, considering that these people would play significant roles in my sons’ lives — I do not want my son to be in a position where he’s the weird charity kid).
Last night I laid awake for a long time thinking about the possibility of starting a small web development business and moving in with my dad in the small town where I grew up. I could support my boys, homeschool them, be close to my dad. There are many (many!) downsides to that plan (like how my dad and I would kill each other within a week, or how the thought of my boys growing up in that miserable town makes me feel ill), but I have to think about my priorities for their lives. What would I sacrifice if I made a choice like that? What am I sacrificing now by choosing the life we currently lead?