I just want it to work!
I must admit, I am seriously considering scrapping this whole linux “adventure.” It’s been interesting to take on this project of “Open Sourcing” my life — at this point I have four computers at home, all running Ubuntu, and I’m able to do a lot with them. I have definitely learned a lot, not only about using linux, but about using Open Source software in general. I especially like that I’ve been able to do all this with minimal financial output. I think I’ve spent maybe $700 total for all four of these computers and the assorted bits necessary to make them useful (like wireless adapters).
However, while I’ve put in $700 of cold hard cash, I can’t count the value of the hours I’ve put in trying to get things working. Some things don’t work merely because I don’t know how to work them and it takes a bit of a curve before I figure that out. Some things don’t work because they just don’t work and various forums offer myriad bizarre work arounds, the majority of which I do not understand. I joked with my old boss that I sometimes just blindly copy and paste into the command line and hope for the best and he confessed to the same, which only made me feel marginally better.
And that’s all fine and dandy. I don’t mind actually learning how to use my computer. I don’t mind having to figure things out. The problem is, I’m tired of it. I’m a 21st century kind of gal. I like technology. I love it! I am happy to incorporate it into my life in any way I can conceive of, and I actively seek more opportunities to do so. But these days I dread implementing anything new. I know that there will undoubtedly be unforseen glitches and incomprensible problems and I don’t want to deal with them! I hate dreading dealing with technology. I hate that the technology in my life feels like a finicky, grouchy burden. I just want things to work.
It’s been about a year since I started on this Open-Source-at-home journey and at first all this challenge was daunting but interesting and fun. These days, I don’t even bother trying new things unless I absolutely have to because I know what’s coming. And for someone who loves technology, that really sucks.
And now, now that I’m using technology in new ways and seeing things that would make my technology-using life so much nicer, I feel like this stressful, tenuous situation is no longer tolerable.
I’m not sure what I’m going to do right now. I’d really like to have a desktop Mac for my bedroom, and a MacBook for my non-bedroom life, but I can’t afford either. I’d kind of like to scrap the computer in my boys’ bedroom (used almost entirely for watching movies — that crash constantly) and replace it with one of those little Netflix on-demand boxes (or whatever the hell they’re called) but the monitor was expensive and I don’t have any other use for it…at least not right now. I guess I’m content to leave my central computer as it is, even if it is less user friendly than I had hoped. My five year old is learning to navigate to the games or movies he wants and I guess that’s user friendly enough. I would like to network everything together though, something I’ve been unable to achieve despite much effort with my current setup.
I just want technology to go back to being a tool that I use to achieve my goals, something I don’t have to think much about, something that just helps me along. I don’t want it to be this tempermental hassle that leaves me feeling tired and annoyed and ready to toss it out the window. Or I guess the key is that I don’t want to depend on something that feels fundamentally unreliable (at least to me and my level of knowledge). Technology is too prominent in my life for that to be a workable solution. Give me something that works and then I can muster all the patience in the world for something else that doesn’t.