Archive for April, 2009

Today I’m Happy: Day 10

Sunday, April 12th, 2009

Three things that make me happy today:

  • Today’s Easter treasure hunt was a success and both boys felt it was the best Easter ever. Photos are here.
  • I made a yummy dinner of chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes. It’s been a long time since I’ve cooked anything even remotely of substance (at least of a non-dessert nature) so it was nice to actually take the time.
  • I cleaned my living room/dining room/kitchen today. The rest of the house might be a pit, but at least I have some refuge.

Something that would make me happier:

  • No one wants to see my new website. :-(

Solution:

  • Keep pestering?

Today I’m Happy: Day 9

Sunday, April 12th, 2009

Three things that make me happy today:

  • Because I really wanted to start Project 365 and because I really wanted to have a nice place to post the photos where my co-workers could see (because they witnessed the arrival of the camera on Friday and heard the story), I created and published a custom WordPress theme today. It’s only my second one ever! I cannot believe I did it in one day!!
  • Best of all, I am very happy with how it turned out. I came up with the idea in about two minutes this morning and it definitely looks nicer than two minutes’ worth. I’d post the link but it’s hosted on my personal domain and I don’t want to link this blog to that domain. So if you’d like to see it (and/or follow my photo-a-day adventures), just email me or leave a comment. I’d really love to show it off!
  • I’m so thrilled that I’ll have something to show my co-workers on Monday and it’s even something I’ll be proud to show!

Something that would make me happier:

  • If it wasn’t currently 2am on a night when I know my kids will not let me sleep in.

Solution:

  • Get my fucking ass to bed!!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, April 10th, 2009

My three year old is the king of tantrums. It’s like as soon as he turned three something was unleashed in him. I’m pretty sure I will not survive a year of this…or he won’t.

Today I’m Happy: Day 8

Friday, April 10th, 2009

Three things that make me happy today:

  • I purchased a new camera (a Canon SD1100 IS for an amazing price) and it arrived today. It’s so wee! And it’s such a lovely shade of blue. I purchased it because I’m tired of my bulky current camera and I think I would take many more photos (than my current count of approximately none) if I had a little camera that I could carry around conveniently (a.k.a in my pocket). I’ve also been having a strong urge to once again try my hand at Project: 365 and the reason I stopped when I tried it before was, in large part, because I was embarrassed to pull out my big touristy camera. This is the first time I’ve purchased a camera based on something other than manual features that I will supposedly use but rarely do and I feel quite empowered about being true to myself instead of to some amorphous notion of being a “real” photographer. I have high hopes for my new little elph.
  • It’s once again Friday and I’m once again glad. This weekend will be a bit crazy with the childcare swap I’ve mentioned, but there will still be time to rest and play and cook yummy, yummy food.
  • In today’s paycheck I started receiving the economic stimulus thingy that upped my bottom line by a bit. Not a huge amount, but welcome just the same as I’m now also having money sucked out for purposes of retirement.

Something that would make me happier:

  • Hearing that my six year old did not hit, kick, spit on or swear at anyone at school, and that he did not run away, and that he especially did not run out of his school building.

Solution:

  • Call his teacher to find out today’s damage. Which I just did, and she reported that, hallefuckinglujah, he had a good day today!! I cannot wait to smother him with kisses and praise his little socks off for doing so well. We talked for a long time last night about what is essentially the bottom line of his behavior. I explained to him that he’s very powerful, as powerful as a superhero, but that he has to choose whether to use his power for good and be a superhero or whether to use his power for evil and be a villain and I think that really struck a chord with him. I can’t wait to confirm for him that he was a superhero today.

Today I’m (not really) Happy (but I’ll pretend): Day 7

Thursday, April 9th, 2009

[It's kind of nice writing these little daily happy posts. I've actually had more unhappy than happy moments during the past few days and it's a nice thing to be forced to stop and think about what I'm actually happy about that day. There is always something...and often enough somethings that I have to pick and choose which ones I'm going to post about.]

Three things that make me happy today:

  • This weekend I’m going to make bread pudding and chicken fried steak. My boys and I eat very little meat in general but I must be iron/protein deficient at the moment because I’ve been craving meat like crazy. When I stumbled across Alton Brown’s recipe for chicken fried steak I thought of the cube steaks sitting forlornly in my freezer and realized that it was, like, kismet or something. The bread pudding is just because I also want something cinnamony and raisiny and comforty. It’s going to be a comfort food weekend at my house.
  • I’m really looking forward to Easter. I was reading the Happiness Project blog a while back and liked Gretchen’s resolutions to be a repository of happy memories and to create family traditions. It made me think about how some of my own happiest memories stem from my family’s traditions and it made me realize the importance of doing that for my own children. So I resolved to start coming up with consistent ways to celebrate lots of little holidays and Easter will be the first. We did do an egg hunt last year but really, my heart was not in it. This year, though, with the idea of starting a tradition, I’m going to create a treasure hunt. I’ll hide our hollow plastic eggs around the house and each egg will contain a picture of where the next egg is hidden. The boys will follow the trail until they get to the end, where I will hide their Easter baskets (which will contain a few sweet treats and a few small items for which I know they’ve been yearning). I think they will really get a kick out of it.
  • The forsythia and cherry trees are just so pretty right now.

Something that would make me happier:

  • I’d really like to convince my boys’ dad to be an active part of our six year old’s life, especially since his counselor and his kindergarten teacher both think that could really help with the behavior problems.

Solution:

  • I sent him an email requesting as much and now I feel ill because I cannot imagine his response will be even remotely positive and I’m going to spend all the time until he does respond feeling intensely anxious about it. But at least I made the effort.

Today I’m Happy(er than yesterday): Day 6

Wednesday, April 8th, 2009

Three things that make me happy today:

  • Two parents and one teacher (so far) have volunteered to help out with the aforementioned community dinner, which makes me feel much better. One of the parents also informed me that the event is actually a week later than the date I was thinking, so that means I have an extra week to get this whole thing underway (albeit also an extra week to worry about it).
  • I have a meeting with the principal of my six year old’s school, as well as an appointment with his counselor tonight. The principal meeting is happening because he punched a kid in the face and the counselor meeting is happening because we are trying to deal with the longer terms behavioral issues that have most recently culminated in the kid being punched in the face. Seemingly not something to be happy about, but I am very eager to be working toward resolution of these issues and these are necessary steps.
  • I’ve been mulling over the idea that I should take a PhotoShop course because there are lots of webby graphic things I want to do but don’t know how. Of course, the fact that I have no means of running PhotoShop is also problemmatic, thus the intensity of my mulling. However, today I read a book review on a book about GIMP and I realized, “Hey! I use GIMP! I could probably read a book about it and learn a lot and then know how to do much of what I’ve been thinking I’d need a training course in PhotoShop to accomplish!” A $40 book instead of a $700 class on top of $700 software (not to mention a computer upon which to run it) makes me very happy indeed (plus it always makes me happy to have an excuse to buy a book!)

Something that would make me happier:

  • Going back in time to uncancel a playdate I canceled because I thought that the other party secretly wanted to cancel. Turns out I was wrong (but too flustered in the moment to renege) and this is a family I really, really like and would like to hang out with more.

Solution:

  • Really, it’s fine because this is the family with whom I am childswapping this weekend. He’s watching my kids on Friday evening and I’m watching his kids on Saturday afternoon. I think it’s reasonably likely that will lead to some hang out time or, at the very least, make more future hang out time likely.

Computer Stuff at Home

Wednesday, April 8th, 2009

Warning, this post will be boring and useless to anyone who isn’t me. (Thank you 3am insomnia witching hour).

Now that we are relatively settled in our new place, it’s time to get our tech setup a bit more streamlined. One thing I love about my townhouse is that it is wired for ethernet, which means that I can set up a wired network. Previously I’ve primarily maintained wireless networks and they were never without problems, particularly around security protocols and various devices having differing and incompatible requirements, meaning I could never have everything connected at once and would often have to switch protocols in order to go from, say, accessing the internet on my bedroom computer to watching a movie on our Roku box. I surely will be happy to no longer deal with this problem!

Also, now that I’ve started to do some more serious web-related work, I want to make sure that I have a computer/network setup that supports that instead of making everything a hassle. Right now the only running computer in our house sits on the floor in my boys’ room. That definitely makes everything a hassle.

Here’s an outline of what I see as our technology needs:

Boys’ room: Ability to watch movies from a hard drive/network, ability to watch DVDs/listen to CDs, ability to play computer games, both web-based and whatever else we can get to run on Linux. Currently my six year old falls asleep while watching movies (he’s done this since his dad got him in the habit when he was three) and my version of attempting to break that habit is to require that on some days he merely listen to a book on CD (thus the movie/CD requirement). And of course, he likes playing computer games (and happily, there are a decent assortment of open source games available to us).

My room: When we were in the midst of moving and I was thoroughly exhausted, I stole the little tv and Roku box that my six year old used to use to watch movies while falling asleep and hooked it up in my own room. Wow, what a glorious treat that proved to be! I don’t know that I’ve ever had a tv in my room and it’s so nice to snuggle in bed and watch movies! And further, although I tried to get my boys to sleep in the same room and thus reclaim my bed for myself, two boys in one room generates far too much energy to allow either of them to sleep. Having a tv in my room means that I can separate them and put my three year old to bed in my room with a movie. Yes, yes, I’m getting him started down this same path that I hate, where he falls asleep watching a movie, but the alternative is that I lay with him every night for an hour or two until he falls asleep and sacrifice all of my time for myself and frankly, I would very quickly go insane from that option.

The living room: This is where our big tv lives and where family movie nights happen. Currently, we only have a second Roku box hooked up to the tv, but I’d like to be able to watch DVDs as well. Some kind of computing ability might be nice as too, but I don’t know that we need an actual computer hooked up to the tv. That need might be best met via a small laptop, maybe one of those tiny $200 linux laptops.

My office: Ideally, this should be my main work space so I should have a computer that supports me in doing web development/design work. I don’t care about watching movies or anything like that, but I do care that I can use the technology that I need with minimal pain and hassle. My current dilemma is whether I should build myself another linux machine (I have three linux boxes already, but two of them are much too under-resourced for my needs and the third is likely to stay in my boys’ room) or whether I should buy something running OSX. On the one hand, the initial cost would be about the same (especially if I bought the OSX machine from psystar) but if I start using OSX again I’d be back to buying proprietary software and expensive proprietary software at that. On the other hand, while I’ve found the linux tools I use to be pretty good, they are often still buggy and are definitely not the “industry standard.” Is it worth spending an extra $1,000 or more for a less buggy experience with the “industry standards?” After I finish my current web development program, there’s a web design program that I’ve been looking at but it requires PhotoShop and Dreamweaver, among others. Obviously, if I was going to pursue that, I’d need a computer on which I could run them. But then again, how hard would it be to integrate that computer into my otherwise all-linux network?

Today I’m (maybe just slightly less) Happy: Day 5

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

Three things that make me happy today:

  • I may have childcare this Friday night (another parent and I are swapping kids, so I’ll have his on Saturday night). It’s the first time I’ve had child-free time in a very long time and it feels quite luxurious…although admittedly my only plans are to fill Easter baskets for my boys and map out the treasure hunt that will lead the boys to them.
  • I cleaned my cubicle at work. It’s a small thing but it’s nice to have finally gotten rid of all the dust and the endless papers.
  • A few eagerly anticipated library books arrived at the library today so my bus rides and evening reader are quite a bit brighter, although I also realized that, as the mother of a three year old, there is no way in hell I can read a novel about something terrible happening to a three year old. Maybe when he’s four….or fourteen.

Something that would make me happier:

  • I decided to suggest to the parent community at my six year old’s school that we change our monthly school meeting to a dinner and meeting. The suggestion was well received and several people offered to help but now that the dinner is a week away my email requests for help are met with silence. I’m trying not to take it personally and trying not to over analyze the emails I sent and how they might possibly be off-putting, but it’s hard. I wish someone would offer something, anything.

Solution:

  • Be patient. And if no one volunteers, suck it up.

Today I’m Happy: Day 4

Monday, April 6th, 2009

Three things that make me happy today:

  • I had a million small phone-call-related tasks that I’ve been putting off forever and that have been gradually weighing me further and further down. This morning I took the opportunity of my boss being in a meeting to commandeer his office and make every damned one of my phone calls. That is a lovely little weight off my shoulders.
  • It’s sunny again today, sunny enough that I left my coat at home. It’s very easy to be happy on a sunny spring day.
  • After two years of deliberation, I finally turned in the form that will officially allow my employer to suck money out of my paycheck and siphon it into my retirement account. This is something about which I have some anxiety (class-based fears about pouring my money into a black hole, disbelief that I will ever see it again, and worries that I am not financially stable enough to pour my money into a black hole, never to be seen again) so it’s been easiest to just bury the form under any number of other pieces of paper on my desk and ignore it, despite rationally knowing that I was only shooting myself in the foot by doing so. But today I finally took the leap. Rationally knowing that I can do this and am doing the right thing despite my irrational anxiety makes me feel very successful.

Something that would make me happier:

  • I wish my three year old was not concurrently experiencing the two year old fanaticism of The Way Things Must Be and the three year old determination to Do Everything Myself. It sets up this terrible cycle of tantrums resulting from rigid expectations not met, coupled with the inability to actually meet those expectations (and therefor more tantrums). He often screams so loud that my eardrums hurt.

Solution:

  • Creative parenting (thus far) has no effect on the tantrums, but works quite well on the resulting pouty aftermath. For example, after this morning’s rage about not being done with his cereal when it was time to go, not wanting to put his shoes on, not wanting to put them on at the bottom of the stairs, not wanting to walk to the car, not wanting to be carried to the car, not wanting to be lifted into his seat, not wanting to be buckled into his seat, not wanting to drop his brother off at school, not wanting to get out of the car at daycare and not wanting to walk down the steps to his classroom, I found that quickly drawing a face on my hand and then making it talk to him in a silly voice was just the right step to convince him to get over himself and wash his hands before joining the other kids.

Today I’m Happy: Day 3

Sunday, April 5th, 2009

[I've always liked the idea of keeping a little journal of "things" -- books to read, interesting quotes, things that make me happy, things I'd like to avenge, etc., etc. Since my blog has languished as of late, I thought I might as well put it back to use and see if I could post things that make me happy for thirty days straight. If the idea seems compelling, feel free to play along.]

Three things that make me happy today:

  • My six year old is so proud of his newfound mastery of making peanut butter and jam sandwiches. Today he even knocked the jam on the floor and cleaned it up entirely by himself (admittedly because he thought I’d be mad but still, all by himself!).
  • It’s warm and sunny enough to warrant all the windows being open.
  • My three year old has been incredibly huggy as of late. I love the endless snuggliness of my six year old, but my three year old is generally a bit more standoffish so this is a lovely change.

Something that would make me happier:

  • My jeans not being so damned tight (and these are the jeans I bought when my last jeans were feeling too tight).

Solution:

  • Reinitiating my morning workout that was derailed (over two months ago) by my impending move.