The Sweetness
I’m feeling better today. The boys and I had an appointment with a photographer this morning (a fellow parent at my six year old’s school), so we spent the morning at my favorite park in our city, where she shot over 300 photos of my boys. Truly, we had the best time. The boys played on the play equipment and swung (swang? swinged?), we hiked through the woods looking for squirrels and caterpillars, we played on the beach and built a dam in a creek, and, probably best of all, stood on a bridge while trains passed beneath us.
The trains still make me choke up a bit to remember. When my six year old realized that the bridge we were taking to the beach passed right over train tracks, he pretty much refused to budge. Mid-photo session as we were, I repeatedly assured him that he could continue to the beach and I would let him know if I saw a train coming (you can see them coming from quite a distance if you’re watching for them — more than enough time to get back to the bridge). He still refused to move so I continued to plead and cajole. Finally I said to him, “Listen, I know how much you love trains. I know how much you want to see a train pass right under this bridge. I know how exciting that is and I want you to see it too. I promise I will not let a train go by without telling you. I will keep watching constantly. I will not let you down.”
He looked at me for a minute and then skipped off to the beach. I didn’t realize it was my words that had convinced him until he caught me looking at him and his brother instead of the horizons from which a train might emerge and anxiously said, “Mom, you aren’t watching!!”
Indeed, the second I saw a train rounding the bend (at least a mile away), I pointed it out to him and he raced back to the bridge. The whole time he stood on the bridge while it was passing beneath him he was totally engrossed, shouting above the screaming cars, “This is so cool!!!” He was also leaping, which I assumed was just a physical manifestation of his excitement, until later when he told me he was pretending to jump from car to car.
It was such a thrill for him. I cannot convey how excited he was, and it makes my heart feel so full to know that I was part of it, that I was there, sharing his happiness, and that he didn’t miss out on one tiny bit of it because I promised him he wouldn’t and made sure that he didn’t.
Later, when we were driving home, both boys were telling me how much fun they had and I commented contentedly that I had had a lot of fun too. My six year asked, puzzled, “How did you have fun?” And then he answered himself, “Because it’s fun for you to watch us having fun.”
Indeed. It’s so fun that it makes my heart hurt.
May 31st, 2009 at 11:21 am
It’s really good to read your posts again. I really felt for you reading the last one, and this one is gorgeous. Sending you lots of love and hugs.
xxxxxxxxxx
June 1st, 2009 at 8:02 am
This made me cry. I was worried the whole time reading it that you were going to say you accidentally got distracted and missed the train (which would have been understandable, really).
But you didn’t miss it. You were there like you said you would be. It’s those simple kinds of acts that give your son roots and wings at the same time.